Broken & Bound

The Bad, The Ugly & The Clean

Issue #1

We join our “heroes” entering the Levels’ Institute for the Future. A cavernous facility filled with buzzing of scantily-clad secretaries & miniature drones wheeling about at break-neck speed.

They are met by an oddly, if at all, dressed man who conscripts our party of ne’er-do-wells into obtaining a “package”. This package was a world renown robiticst named Thomas Ederii, who resides in Scotland. Though there is no promise of material recompense, the effeminate host holds over each member something that will make sure that they will obey.

Obey they do, and after some nun-robbing & manslaughter, the party arrives in Glascow. They find the domicile of their prey and begin “scoping out” the area. Other than some OCD neighbors & a 24-hour gas station, no one has even noticed them. Their target, though occupied in some strange ritual, is there & has yet to recognize his predicament.

The Green Mummy (a thief & worse, wearing strange garments of his namesake) makes his way in the front door towards our unsuspecting quarry. The others stand watch at all sides of the building, to prevent this slippery victim’s escape. Inside stands the all too conveniently unaware target walking about his house. Smelling a rat, and weary of the eyes of creepy children at his back, TGM makes his way back outside.

At the same time, the rest of the group begins to see strangeness in the windows of the neighbors. Smelling a trap, the Lord Steven Drake (Herald of Chaos & all around weirdo in a double tux) sets the building on fire. A child rushes from the flames, though is quickly extinguished by an eldritch bolt of Lord Drake. The child was more than he seemed & A. Kingpin (the eccentric, monstrous-sized CEO of I’m Not Evil inc.) deduced it to be a short-range security bot & tracking beacon.

Off to find a place to drink think while the building burned, the party sought solace in a Radioshack. Before any ground could be gained in devising a way to understand the beacon Kingpin destroyed their tracking beacon. Not a moment after The Black Shadow (a mystical cat burglar, with a penchant for spontaneous combustion) arrived late, bringing along his own tracking beacon, conveniently given by Levels earlier.

Then the Radioshack caught fire. Weirdly starting with a metal tool box, but then some piping & gutters as well. Soon the culprit was found, Thomas Ederii himself was somehow combusting iron… until he was hit in the face by a flaming pistol & sat on by Hammer & Sickle(a communist duo consisting of a Soviet in a super-suit & a loudmouthed china man with an AK47). Before “passing out”, Ederii called out for help with a cheery jingle.

From the sky came a Lemony-Scented Glow & behold where there 8 Orbs of Justice, cleaning the streets & holding back this tide of evil. Bolts of madness, blades, bullets, fists & all manor of explosions abound, but the Orbs proved to be formidable foes. Justice seemed to prevail, and then some bullshit about 3 fucking Jokers in a row on the same fucking guy , but our protagonists were able to defeat his cleanliness (mostly with a bus).

Though not unscathed & possibly cursed forever, the protagonists captured Ederii & made it back to the Levil’s Tower. Though there was the gripes of no pay and whines of the confiscation of their trophies, our friends were congratulated for their efforts. Levels himself seemed more than pleased with this series of events, and the party was content to know that they were one step closer to freedom.

Meanwhile….

Muttering phrases of madness, summoning powers well beyond his understanding, Lord Drake had stayed back in Scotland. A wave of psychic energy erupted from LD & then two more reverberated back throughout the town. Evil stirred in LD’s belly, but a grin spread across his face. The town turned inside-out as night became day & day became night. No one knows what evil was awoken that day, but everyone knows what happened next….

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EdgarFigaro

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