Broken & Bound

Diary of a Madman

Issue #2

Today the group I am traveling with finished up dealing with bird-guy, I think he was the owl. It is beyond me why anyone would give a hoot about the man. He seemed fairly pointless, although his girlfriend was a looker. I could have done without those heels though, they had an edge to them.

We got a bunch of useful information out of bird-boy, but, like normal, I assume we will not piece it together and then ignore it totally going forward. After we dispatched him, some of his friends showed up, so we high-tailed it out of there and hi-jacked an old VW Van. It was servicable as a vehicle, although I had the urge to go pick up a brown great dane to travel with.

Progressing through town, someone was following us. I can only assume it was super-redundancy man. He kept showing up again, and again, and again. Really, who does that? Whoever it was, I politely asked him to pull over, he sort of did and then hit the back of our styling van. We blasted him a bit, the gorilla then actually had a good idea and shot some guy who happened to be holding two suitcases of money. (How did he know that?) Who would have thought gorilla boy would have such a good idea. Anyway, annoying man got away in his car and the rest of the group ran around like a bunch of kids grabbing candy. Really, have some dignity people! I just politely asked one of the local gentleman to hand over his money and he quickly obliged. He obviously understood and respected the power of Great Ones.

We then took a flight to DC. We really had no clue what to do. As I suspected, we pretty much discarded any attempt at organization. At least we are true to the aspects of Chaos. We toyed with the thought of going in incognito, but I doubt that will work. Let’s face it, I am way too good looking for people to not recognize me. Anyway, several of the group went into a strip club, I guess they needed to “think” a bit. Poor chaps, they are pretty nappy, I imagine even a strip club would be expensive for them. The mummy was prepared though, I think he had enough ones to bankroll the club for a week.

I decided to rest in the park when I had a bout of extreme intestinal evacuation. Apparently those two empanadas I got from a street vendor did not go down well. If I see that jack-ass again I should disembowel him, although I guess there was a plus side. The bout did perk up my friend. (Ha, not that friend.) The little chaos-spawn I seem to be carrying finally woke up and started to whip up a little trouble by causing a small earthquake and tornado. It was nice to see the little fellow showing some fiestiness. The downside to his waking up was that a swarm of “supers” thought I was responsible. They did something to put the little guy to sleep and then took me in for questioning.

I was taken deep into the halls of justice. It was obviously created by redundancy boy, it went on and on and on and on and on. I was a bit lost and was eventually placed into some room. After a while, the room shattered and I was in a hall with my two captors, a centurion dressed guy and a guy in a trench coat. The centurion really needs a new outfit, or at least needs to lose a few pounds. He has a pretty big ass for a skirt.

It appeared as though one of my group members, the slinky shadow guy was the one who had sprung me from some sort of chamber. I shall have to thank him for that. Maybe I can arrange for him to get a new suit, maybe then he won’t feel the need to keep hiding in the shadows.

I blasted and wounded my two captors, but the skirt boy hit me with his sword and, seriously, that hurt like hell.

Note to self: when large men with swords are swinging them at you, move.

The two “heros” fled like two school girls and I was able to grab the “Truth Ray” from them in the process. (Seriously, do I have to do everything?) Whatever. Now I guess we need to figure out how to get the hell out of here before they come back with their friends. I wonder if slinky has a clue how to get out?



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